Lately I’ve mostly written updates on Instagram. Because I now wanted to share a longer story, I’ll upload it here as a blogpost. You can read the previous updates on our Instagram page (@namalucommunityhome).

I still have to write an update about our last weekend in Namalu. But how do you write about the death of a 14 month old baby? A child who (unless she had an incurable disease or severe complications) probably would have survived in another country or region and who would be happily walking or crawling around right now? How do you write a clear story, when you also have several questions yourself and when you don’t know exactly why this happened, partly because of a language barrier and partly because of the parents and the difficult communication with them?

We’ve known this family since last year. First only the mother with her, by then, 3-year-old twins, shortly after that the baby was born and later we also met the father. The twins started with our malnutrition programme and they were regularly at our compound. The baby was doing quite well and she grew normally. A few months ago her health had worsened and she had a rash everywhere. The doctor said it was scabies, but we don’t know that for sure. She also didn’t want to eat a lot of solid food. After that time in April we haven’t seen her again, I think. Because the family now lives further away, it’s hard for them to come to the compound with the children every time. We offered to pay rent for a house in the center of Namalu, so that the twins would be closer and could go to school. But eventually they didn’t really do much with that offer.

The person on the compound who helps us with the children, told us that the mother came to her with the baby some time back. The baby was sick (she had big bumps in her neck, I don’t know exactly what it was) and that’s why she advised her to go to a better clinic where we also go to with the malnourished children. The mother knows we will pay for that, but she still didn’t go there. In another hospital/clinic they didn’t help her well or she was sent home again. Eventually the baby passed away.

There are many ‘what if…’ thoughts going through my head. What if they did go to the better clinic? Maybe they could’ve helped her there or maybe they would’ve seen how bad it was and then we could’ve sent them to the bigger city? What if Joshua and I would’ve been in Namalu at that time, then I could’ve seen her situation with my own eyes and then we could’ve brought them to the clinic with the car. But all these thoughts are of no use anymore, because they don’t bring this young life back.

This happened in the week before the weekend in which we went to Namalu, I think. I don’t know everything for sure, because what they say has to be translated twice and they also don’t always tell a very clear story. Besides that, you also never know if things happened exactly like they told you. When we were in Namalu, we met the twins and the parents and again we offered them to live closer to us, this time in a hut which is on our compound. The mother thought it was a good idea, but she still didn’t come back to start staying there. We see the twins getting less healthy again when they don’t come to us for a longer period of time and that’s frustrating to see. We really hope that they could start living closer to us soon, because we would like to send them to school after they get a bit stronger. That could really change their future.

It’s hard to see children having a hard time, but to not be able to do as much as you would like. I would really want to know what’s going on in the mother’s mind, but we can’t communicate with her in that way. She is now grieving, without any form of help. The twins suddenly don’t see their baby sister anymore and they also probably don’t really know why. Life just continues, like how it used to be in the Netherlands in the past when there was little attention for coping with grief. I would love to give her the care and love she doesn’t get right now and to see her change. It’s a hard lesson to learn that you can’t always help with everything. My heart breaks for them, but sadly this happens with so many more families in Karamoja.

I found it difficult whether I had to share this story, because it’s quite personal of course. That’s why I also don’t share certain details about the parents. But it paints a picture of the type of situations we encounter with. It’s sometimes hard to imagine what the situation is like in a country or region where you’ve never been to, but with these stories I hope to paint a better picture of how it is. This is just one family, but there are so many more children close to our compound who we could help. At this moment we don’t have enough money for that yet, our compound is not ready to receive more children and we need a good and stable worker. If you would like to support us, then you can find all the information on our website or Instagram. As soon as we have a stable foundation on the compound, then we can help more children and bring hope to families in difficult situations.